Thank You, Sir

One thing that has always bothered me somewhat is when people that are clearly far older than you call you “Sir”.

Socially, I’m a conservative guy. Growing up, I was taught to defer to elders, perhaps to the point to that today I am overly deferential. So it always throws me for a loop when a middle-aged adult that’s clearly older than me says “sir” to me.

I appreciate the deference, but I don’t think it’s deserved, even appropriate. I don’t really care that you do it because you’re serving me and that, by virtue, puts you in a subservient position. I am going to defer to you by virtue of the fact that you are clearly older than me. You shouldn’t defer to me.

I do know that Western culture doesn’t really revere elders – or at least to the point they do in the East. People here aren’t respected for their age or the wisdom they’ve accrued from their experience – our primary basis of respect is accomplishment, what people have done with their lives.

Reconciling this is tough. Is this overt deference an implicit admission on the part of these service workers that I’ve come a long way in my short life? Or conversely, maybe these “sirs” I’m getting are subliminal, sarcastic jabs – like the woman at the cafeteria who’s old enough to be my mother hands me my sandwich and says “Here you go, sir.” Perhaps it’s a tacit sort of “Kid, what are you doing here” poke at my youth.

It’s tough being a racial outsider as it is. I don’t even share the same nationality as all the people here – legally, I’m an alien. And I’m thinking that, at 20, I’m likely the youngest person in this building. Deviating from the norm on three fronts – I’m probably the biggest anomaly here. And really, IMO no one here should be calling me “sir”.

American Pahlitics

It’s a lot of fun.

So Barbara Walters was interviewing Bill O’Reilly on 20/20 the other day. O’Reilly was plugging his new book, and he alluded to a dichotomy of there being two types of Americans. One type thinks that America is fundamentally good and noble, and even the Canadian in me was thinking – hey that’s me. And then he asserts that in the other camp are the “secular progressives”, people that think America needs to change, and I was thinking that’s me too. Why are the two mutually exclusive?

I think O’Reilly’s statement is reflective of the bimodal frame of thought that I find is all too pervasive in America. People here tend to put themselves firmly into one of two camps; there’s no gray area. You’re either on the right or left, a conservative or a liberal, Republican or Democrat, in a red state or a blue state. Throw in a war most people think is pointless, 6 million cable news channels with 12 million political pundits, the most divisive President in recent memory, and underlying it all the omnipresent threat of terrorism, and you have a healthy tempest for polarization, paranoia, finger-pointing, and squabbling.

It’s nasty, maddening, deafening… and oddly entertaining. I love it. Forget the junk on NBC’s Thursday night lineup – Fox News is the most entertaining thing on TV. How awesome was Slick Willy going apeshit on Fox News the other night? I love that I can be a spectator to it all, and be all detached and neutral and laugh at the buffoonery knowing that this stuff isn’t of much consequence to me, and all the while knowing I can retreat to humble ho-hum boring old Canada in a few months.

But living here completely enveloped in Americana has shed some perspective. It’s reinforced my view of what sets Canadians apart from Americans: Americans are ideological. Canadians are pragmatic.

I think fundamentally, this is what sets apart us apart from Americans. We can be Conservative supporters one year, Liberals the next. In the 1988 Free Trade election, Canadians elected Mulroney’s Progressive Conservatives to a majority. 5 years later the PC government was trounced, reduced to two seats! Ontarians went from electing a quasi-socialist NDP to office in one election to Mike Harris’ hard-right neo-con goons the next! There’s something to be said for the Parliamentary system of government.

As a people, Canadians are very pragmatic and prudent. We’ll do whatever we feel is in the best interest of the nation at the given time . Americans are ideological, and I think it’s owing to their history. It’s a country born out of revolution, in the name of liberty. Our independence was a more ho-hum affair – alright, sign these papers, you got your country.

Canadians vote with their heads, Americans vote with their hearts. And I think it’s our prudence and pragmatism that’s allowed us to avoid the ugly divisions that permeate American society.

Nadir?

Ever watch those Back in x year programs that MuchMoreMusic airs?

James and I talked about this last year over Golden Mango. I contended that there’s really nothing to define this period – no overarching sociopolitical or cultural theme. I think this trend began circa 1996, coinciding with the “release” of the Internet and the cable TV explosion.

Think about it – in relation to prior eras, from the mid 90s onward there’s a remarkable lack of stuff to define this period. Most people had a clean-cut look in the 50s, though the beatnik look was also in. The hippie look was becoming increasingly mainstream in the late 60s. I could tell you bell-bottoms were popular in the 70s, and bright neon and big hair in the 80s. Mullets and frayed jeans and Starter hats and pumps were coming on strong in the early 90s. Then everything stopped. What was popular in 1998? 2002? I lived through these periods and I couldn’t tell you.

Watch any movie say pre-1996 and you could usually tell a movie within reasonable accuracy what year the movie was made. Watch The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles or any John Hughes flick and you just know this is a movie from the mid-80s. The garish fashion, the big hair, the New Wave synthesizer soundtrack and the ridiculous stereotyping are all dead giveaways. You could also usually tell a movie made pre-WWII and the 50s and 60s and 70s the same way. But I couldn’t, say, tell apart an episode of Frasier or Friends from 1997 from one from 2003.

Look at the contrast between a movie from 1976 and 1986, or between 1986 and 1996 – there’s a huge, huge difference in fashion, trends, social themes and politics, not to mention technical aspects like production values and SFX quality. But any movie released say post-1996 looks remarkably similar to a production today. You’ve Got Mail (1998) could easily be a film released last week, only Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan would be using Rogers Hi-Speed instead of AOL dial-up. So could, say, Jerry Maguire (1996). Things really haven’t really changed much – they dress, act, talk, do the same things and have pretty much the same values we do today.

I think this lack of an overarching unifying cultural meme is a symptom of the fragmentation of our culture. We live in the era of the giga-channel universe. The internet has probably been the greatest catalyst in accelerating the fragmentation of our society into little heterogeneous subcultures – at least when you’re watching CSI, there’s 20 million other people watching with you; on the Internet you’re doing your own thing in your own world. We’re not all waking up to Jerry Lewis and watching Ed Sullivan and Walter Cronkite and going to bed by Johnny Carson as we used to.

I think we’ve reached a cultural nadir, in so far as there’s nothing really there anymore to unite us, no moon landing, no shared bond or collective cultural experience. Will we be able to look back at this period in 20 years and define what was in, what was out, what was popular?

Stepping through Stamford, CT

Picture a brown guy taking pictures of buildings in the NYC metropolitan area perilously close to 9/11. I know I made a couple of old fogeys nervous.

Here are some pics of downtown Stamford.

this city goes way back!

downtown

old school bank

downtown II

city hall

wachovia bank, etc.

stamford public library

streetscape

“carparks” to attract the suburbanites

it’s no timmy’s but…

50s style theatre

view out my window! pretty!

UConn

reminds me of UW

postcard perfect

new england style clapboard houses

one stop shop for all purposes

stamford town centre, if your tastes are more lavish

the two rusted tin cans as mary likes to say

building on the right is where we work

colonial pioneer fountain

if you decide to leave

Find more pics here.

Encounters with Americans

Had a few interesting exchanges with the locals this past weekend. I had three WTF moments.

Scene 1

I’m walking down Washington Blvd. to the mall when this mentally deranged white dude starts yelling “fucking Mexican motherfucker.” Was this mofo referring to me? I didn’t want to cause a scene but damn cracker, if you’re gonna hate, get your races straight.

Scene 2

I’m at the Gap making my purchases. The middle-aged woman cashier asks if I’d like to save 20% and enroll for a Gap card. I can’t say no to a good deal. I nod. I’m beaming from ear-to-ear. “Does it matter if I’m from out of town?” I ask. “No,” she says. “All we need is your photo ID and VISA.” So I’m filling out the form, which is always painful and time-consuming because writing out my entire name is like spelling out the alphabet. Then she feeds my data into the system, or at least tries to, but I think it crashed the system – I think it was the letters in place of the zip code that did it. I didn’t get my discount. :(

“Just visiting?“ she asks. “I’m actually working here for 4 months, I’m on an internship.” “Are you from Toronto originally?“ “Yup!” I say, proud to represent the T-Dot. “Oh, I’ve been there before. My son had a hackey tournament near there. In Lindsay.” Now this is the second time someone mentioned Toronto in conjunction with hackey, the first being my banking rep. at Wachovia, Zack Morris.

Scene 3

This time I’m at the cash register at A&F. The burly blonde gay guy behind the counter rings in my purchase, types something into the computer, and says “Whereaboot”.
Me: “Pardon me?”
Gay guy: “Whereaboot”
Me: “I don’t understand.”
Gay guy: “Where. Aboot”
Me: “Oh. Canada.”

WTF? I thought it was Canadians that allegedly say “aboot”. Yet I’ve spent nearly all my life in Canada and I’ve never heard anyone say “about” the way this guy did. Or maybe I’ve got this crazy condition where I hear aboot when I should be hearing about and vice-versa.

5 Years Later

We know what happened 5 years ago today.

I recall how I learned of the events. My school happened to have a late start that day, and I was buttoning my uniform when my brother alerted me to a story on CNN, about a plane that had crashed into the World Trade Center. My initial response was WTF – what a lousy pilot – and then I headed to school, not really thinking much of it. Then, just the class was to be dismissed for lunch, my accounting teacher, Mr. Paris, announced that the Pentagon and South tower and Pentagon had also been hit, that both towers had collapsed – and I knew something was horribly amiss.

At the cafeteria we speculated with teenaged giddiness as to what other cities and landmarks were hit, and that afternoon Ms. Larendowicz rolled out the TV – defying the wishes of the administration as I recall – and, with absolute horror and indignation, we all watched the carnage before our eyes.

Living today in the New York City orbit means I am exposed to the events to a great degree; it means I’ll be subject to a lot of flashbacks and reflections and tributes and memorials and speculation and moral hand-wringing. There’s an element of sombreness and sobriety around this city; all the flags around the office have been flying at half-mast for the past week, and I don’t think it’s because of the Crocodile Hunter.

There has always been something that has attracted me to America, or at least the principles of its founding. There is something romantic about the American creed – a proposition nation born from the high ideals of liberty, a nation built by progressive waves of immigrants in search of a better life. America was a radical experiment in liberty and democracy and egalitarianism. Sure, in practice they were a little hypocritical – the right to vote only extended to white guys with property at first. But I think the most sterling testament to its greatness is that America, over its history, saw the injustices of its ways and aimed to remedy them. A culture that is able to look at itself and see the injustices in its midst and confront and purge its ills is the better one, and I think what sets it apart from its militant foes. And I think America’s foremost challenge is this: how does America confront a foe that is unwilling and seemingly incapable of looking at itself critically?

9/11 was the worst terrorist attack in history, yes, and for many days hence Lower Manhattan was enveloped in a cloud of smoke and dust reaped by the destruction of its masssive twin skyscrapers. But the image I will take away from 5 years ago is this: As the days passed on, the dust settled and the smoke and ashes began to clear. And amidst the rubble there peaked in the horizon Lady Liberty, standing gloriously as a beacon of hope and freedom and opportunity to the huddled masses of the world – a shining symbol of all that is great about America.

American Media

America media – in particular news media – is really, really loud. I get CNN, CNBC, MSNBC, FOX News, and Headline Prime and they all love to zero in on the same sensational story, pound it to death, then move on to the next sensational story. Since I moved here, it’s been nothing but hurricanes and pedophiles and polygamists. This goes for local news too. And it’s also really, really low-brow. And why’s everyone shouting? Someone turn down the decibel level. I get no Canadian TV where I am, and I miss the mellow, tempered news coverage and general civility of Canadian media. I now have a greater appreciation for the CBC and CTV and Mansbridge and Lloyd Robertson.

The observation above actually squares with the remarks of an African-American stand-up comic that I’d seen on the CBC’s Canada Day’s comedy special. He was a born and bred American who’d recently moved to Quebec, and he’d observed that there’s a sense of calm, Zen Buddhist-like mellowness in Canada, and living here now, I see where he’s coming from. Compared to America’s problems – terrorism threats, deficits, illegal immigration, declining public schools & the lowest SAT scores in 31 years – Canada’s problems are pretty trivial.

I also see why Americans are so insular and provincial – there is practically zero international coverage, short of their “War On Terror” in Iraq and now maybe Iran. If I’m looking at a weather map, everything north of the 49th parallel and south of the Rio Grande is blacked out. And apart from the aforementioned countries, there is really practically no mention of any other countries – including Canada – anywhere on any TV network. On Canuck TV, you can’t go an hour without the US being referenced at least once.

View from the Hood

The corner was our Rock of Gibraltar, our Stonehenge
Our Taj Mahal, our monument,
Our testimonial to freedom, to peace and to love
Down on the corner…

Everyime I look out my crib, I hear Common.

Observations:

- Lots of people just standing around listlessly. I think of the streets as a means of getting from point A to point B, but I look out the window and I always see 2-3 guys just bumming around on the corner. And it’s not always the same 2-3 guys either. Actually, there seems to be a lot of listless bumming around in this city – I see a lot of people bumming around in the mall, bumming around outside the mall, bumming around outside the library, people just loitering everywhere, just standing around, not exactly going anywhere. Seems to be popular in Stamford.

- But when people actually do get moving, everyone in this city here – irrespective of class, colour, or creed – jaywalks. All too often I’ve witnessed everyone from old white guys in suits to Hispanic women pushing strollers with toddlers in tow jaywalk through the red light while I stand there like a dopey, mind-the-law-to-the-tee acquiescent Canadian obediently waiting for the light to change.

- People here love their luxury SUVs – Beemers, Benzes, Lexus, you name it, you’ll see it – usually on their way out during the afternoon rush.

- Stamford’s not a bad-looking city, and it’s growing on me. It’s kind of a fun city to navigate because everything downtown is compact and laid out so at random, possibly following old colonial horsepaths – unlike the utilitarian Toronto grid – and you never quite know what to expect next or what’s around the corner. There’s also a good deal of history and they’ve preserved some nice 1930s style Art-Deco architecture downtown, and there is some of that small-city charm.

- The American accent is very discernable if you listen for it, particularly in the way they pronounce the short “o” sound. Whereas Canadians would say “not”, Americans say “naht”; dollar is “dahler”; job is “jahb”; model is “mahdel”. Americans speak in a noticeably more nasal pitch, and it’s particularly pronounced in the Northeast. It’s not like the crisp, clean almost regal intonation of the Canadian accent. I think I’m starting to pick it up.

- People here say “all set” a lot. Say someone has completed a task for you – they’ll say “all set” or “you’re all set”, meaning everything’s done. I hear it everywhere down here, but it’s an expression that’s seldom used in Canada. Maybe the Canadian equivalent would be “That’s all.

- My office building is very white male-dominated – like 80% male and white, unlike the surrounding neighbourhood (neighborhood). I don’t know whether this is because this building is mostly host to actuarial and accounting firms (numbers types), but I actually observe these demographics to be true of much of the surrounding offices as well. I also wonder whether this is representative of the northeastern US or the US in general, (maybe American women are more conservative and hence stay home with the kids?) but it’s quite a difference from my experience working in Toronto, where there’s a more equitable male-female distribution, not to mention an ethnic mix that’s more reflective of the general population.

- Still, I think I am arguably less racially conscious here than in Canada and it’s because subconsciously I perceive all the people as foreigners here and I have no sense of fealty to this land; be it white, black or Hispanic, they’re all American to me first.

- They’re not big on recycling here. I think I’ve seen maybe three blue boxes in my office, no recycling receptacles in my residence, and none on the city streets – just garbage cans. I think the most telling sign of the pervasive disregard for the environment was when, upon leaving after a lunch meeting in the boardroom, I noted there were Styrofoam plates thrown out in the blue bin. And this in Connecticut – a fiercely liberal blue state! Toronto is an eco-paradise by comparison – Ralph Nader would cream his pants. I’m tempted to ask my colleagues where the recycling bin for papers is only to see how well they suppress their laughter.

- Nobody says “eh” down here! I’m starting to miss it, eh?